I have not used social media to comment on the recent Called General Conference of the United Methodist Church that addressed LGBTQ+ issues. I will not directly do so here or in any social media post. Many of my online friends are not United Methodists, and this conversation is a family issue. The many Methodists who have talked to me about these decisions have shared views that encompass the full spectrum of our connection. Anyone who is within this family has a right to share their thoughts and feelings freely. But anyone else--it feels to me like they are commenting on my parents' divorce. It's not their business. One reason this is a painful time for us is that we are family with each other and family fights are the most painful.
We all live within our covenants. Our covenantal relationships define our lives. When our covenants are tried, our identity is on the line. Every covenant is tried from time to time. We must sometimes make hard choices to stay in covenant with those with whom we share life or to break covenant. Scripture teaches us that God is a covenantal God, that God keeps covenant with people no matter what. Still, we are fallen people and covenants force our unfaithfulness to bump up against the unfaithfulness of others. Every family, nation, congregation, marriage, friendship faces this challenging dynamic. Sometimes it hurts. From time to time, we are compelled to break covenant. Most of the time, sticking with the covenant forces us to learn the true meaning of love.
I will stay true to my covenant with the United Methodist Church. I will do all I can to seek repentance for myself and grace toward all others.
I have many dear United Methodist friends who are gay, or have children or grandchildren who are gay, or who have ministries with people who are gay. These precious children of God within my denomination are hurting right now. So I hope that my affirmation of my church will not be ill-timed to cause any more hurt.
But I still deeply love the United Methodist Church and all my brothers and sisters, no matter what their views or recent behavior may be. I sincerely hope that our denomination will hold together and that our gifts will continue to be shared with the world-wide body of Christ and for the sake of the healing of the world's suffering.
I share a few of those gifts worth preserving:
First, our denomination provides perhaps the safest environment for the the protection of children and other vulnerable populations of any expression of American Christianity. Our polity, policies, and culture protect the vulnerable and hold predators accountable.
Secondly, the United Methodist Church affirms the ministries of women as consistently as any church. I mostly grew up in more conservative traditions and watched my own mother have her calling to ministry consistently rejected. One reason that I hope our conservative and progressive wings hold together is that our connection provides perhaps the best place in American religious life for a conservative woman who is called of God to fulfill her potential in sharing the Gospel in vocational ministry.
Thirdly, all United Methodists share a deep and practiced conviction of activist mission. When my town was recently devastated by a hurricane, Methodists from around the country came to help us. Some came from WCA churches. Some came from progressive churches. Some held deeply exclusive views, and some actively support full inclusion of LGBTQ persons in all aspects of the life of the church. They all felt compelled by their understanding of the love of God to do something to help our community. We welcomed them all and were grateful to them all.
Fourthly, while United Methodists have theological disagreements, I believe we have the best theology. The world needs Wesleyan theology more now than ever. We have the best understanding of individual and corporate grace and redemption.
We struggle to understand how that theology is applied--we all believe that God loves us as we are and yet God's love transforms us into something else. While we disagree on what transformation looks like, I truly believe that, by and large, we are genuine in our desire to offer welcome to all people. Even the most conservative Methodists I know (with few exceptions) are quick to say that we need to love everyone and welcome everyone. Our ideas of what love and welcome entail are not consistent. But it is worth recognizing that many traditions are not this way--many forms of American Christianity are actively hateful to all kinds of people and seek to drive people out. Again, I say this not to minimize or excuse. But even in the most conservative churches I've served, I've felt comfortable when inviting gay people to church to tell them that no one would be cruel to them or make them feel unwelcome. Before I was a Methodist, I have been in churches where this was not the case.
Fifthly, United Methodists do not have celebrities. If you're thinking that Will Willimon or Adam Hamilton are exceptions, you don't have the first clue what a cult of personality driven religious community is about. Believe me, this is a very good thing. We are not free from our own forms of pride and vainglory, but we have a kind of humility built into our ethos that keeps in check a kind of spiritual cancer that our culture celebrates and many church cultures embrace.
I could go on and on. Methodism almost universally values substance over show. It embraces learning without empty intellectualism, theological clarity without dogmatism. It's community based. It has systems in place to provide financial accountability at all levels. These are good things and they are rare. I was not raised United Methodist. Perhaps I still have covert's enthusiasm. But I believe, warts and all, we are a great option, maybe the best option.
I have become increasingly careful not to expect the United Methodist Church to conform to my ideas of what it should or might be. In "Life Together," Dietrich Bonhoeffer said that we enter the Christian community not as dreamers making demands, but as grateful participants. I am grateful to the people of the United Methodist Church that they welcomed me, a sinner and an outsider, and have given me a treasured place. They have nurtured my children and carried me through untold difficulties.
The United Methodists who have extended grace to me, loved me imperfectly but well, and made me who I am, are people who fit every description--conservative, moderate, progressive, straight, gay, WCA, Reconciling, Southern, Northern, black, white, Asian, Hispanic. Many have joined the Church Triumphant and are, I pray, interceding for us even through this tribulation.
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