Philippians 4:1-9 contains many exhortations--Paul advising, directing, coaching a young congregation in how they should act. He speaks to the group, and he addresses individuals: He implores Euodia, implores Syntyche. He urges a "true companion" to help the women. He tells the the receivers of the letter to stand firm, to rejoice, to live lives marked by gentleness, to be anxious for nothing, to pray, meditate on the just, true, praiseworthy, etc.
Most people are regularly in a position to speak in the hortatory voice. Parents, children, spouses, pastors, coaches, employers, teachers, community leaders, even pet owners find it necessary to instruct, advise, and even command others. Few of us are good at it. Many of us find that our admonition has a reverse effect--people do exactly the opposite of what we advise. Sometimes we employ "reverse psychology"--advising or commanding the exact opposite of the behavior we seek because we anticipate a counter-reaction to our advice.
How was Paul effective in offering direction to the Philippians? Maybe there's a clue in his address. Paul refers to the people as "my joy and crown," and "beloved." Perhaps Paul earned the right to be heard by the good people of Philippi because they knew that he not only loved them but that he found great joy in them, he treasured them and spoke effusively and openly about his affection for them.
Perhaps many of us are ineffective in guiding the behavior of those whose behavior we must guide because we fail to treasure people enough. People can tell when those who are admonishing them are annoyed or frustrated, if they are contemptuous of them when they fail to tow the line. How many times has a father made his children afraid, a pastor made a congregation feel unspiritual, a spouse made a mate feel stupid, a child made a parent feel disrespected, all because of a well-intentioned attempt to get the other to do something for his or her own good?
When we treat people like projects, we easily become annoyed when they fail to line up to our expectations. And our failure to treasure them hardens them to our agenda for them. This is natural and it is a good defense mechanism. It's foolish to allow someone who doesn't care about you to shape your life.
God has the power to redeem us because he loves us, treasures us, values us, calls us the beloved just as we are. That acceptance frees us to be transformed. That unconditional love allows us to trust him enough to obey him.
How more effective might we be in guiding others if they knew that we treasured them infinitely more than the response we attempt to evoke in them?
Friday, February 12, 2016
The Gospel According to Mister Rogers
My four-year-old just discovered Mister Rogers Neighborhood. I haven't watched Mr. Rogers since I was a child, but watching with her has allowed me to remember his gentle spirit, his kindness, his practical wisdom. Watching Mister Rogers was a happy part of my childhood, but I've never before had the opportunity to revisit his work or his life from the standpoint of an adult.
I've taken some time to read up on Mister Rogers. I had already known that he was an ordained Presbyterian clergyperson. Because he and my sister both studied music at Rollins College near Orlando and he made massive contributions to the music program there, I'd also known that he began his studies as a musician (I hadn't before known that he composed all the music for the show). What I hadn't known was that he had small children and was already working full-time in television while he went to seminary in Pittsburgh. My own travails as a clergyperson working through seminary made me appreciate the kind of work ethic and giftedness his humble demeanor belied.
Mister Rogers was so nice and kind that it's hard to notice how courageous and fearless he was. Early in his career, he was appalled at the tenor of content of children's programming and television content in general. Rather than rail against the culture, he chose to invest his life in creating an alternative.
He had a simple and fundamental theological conviction. He believed that life is precious, that every human being is precious, and that all of us are called to treat others with dignity and respect as beloved children of God. He refused to allow circumstance to pressure him into conforming to the ethos of a media culture that uses people (including children) as commodities manipulated for ratings and commercial advertising influence.
Two events in Mister Rogers later life illustrate his quiet but strong practice of this conviction. I once saw Mister Rogers (or, more accurately, Reverend Rogers) being interviewed about how to calm children who have been upset by overhearing the news as the Iraq War was breaking out. After answering questions from the interviewer, he mentioned that even newspeople can become upset by the scary news they report. He took the opportunity to offer care and comfort to the newsperson (who clearly didn't know how to respond to being treated like an actual human being).
The other remarkable event that showed Mister Rogers ability to turn any situation into a ministry opportunity was his acceptance speech for a lifetime achievement award at the Emmys. He asked the entire crowd to take ten seconds of silence to think about someone who had impacted them for good. He said, "I'll watch the time." He looked at his watch as the crowd experienced what seemed like an interminable silence. Many in the crowd were visibly moved. He challenged them to make television that brought out the best in people and refused to demean people. It was a prophetic moment fitting to his life's work. He turned a community of some of the world's most shallow people into a group of children listening to his gentle wisdom.
Mister Rogers was also authentic. His TV persona was himself. He said that he believed that children could spot a phony right away. He intentionally created a children's program with a slower tempo because of his deep concern for the anxiety children face through all they experience in contemporary society. He referred to the noise of most children's programming as "bombardment." Everything about his show, his life, his approach to interaction with others sprang from a pastoral concern.
How different could our society be if those called to minister the Gospel could take some cues from our childhood friend? We are so much quicker to condemn all that's wrong in our culture than to figure out how to creatively construct attractive alternatives based on our theological convictions. Mister Rogers didn't talk openly about the love of Jesus Christ, because an open proclamation of the name of Jesus would have been inappropriate to his context. But his demonstration of the love he had experienced in Jesus and the application of his giftedness in such a remarkably unique, creative manner should fire our imaginations for other ways we could constructively impact our culture through the application of the love of Jesus Christ.
I've taken some time to read up on Mister Rogers. I had already known that he was an ordained Presbyterian clergyperson. Because he and my sister both studied music at Rollins College near Orlando and he made massive contributions to the music program there, I'd also known that he began his studies as a musician (I hadn't before known that he composed all the music for the show). What I hadn't known was that he had small children and was already working full-time in television while he went to seminary in Pittsburgh. My own travails as a clergyperson working through seminary made me appreciate the kind of work ethic and giftedness his humble demeanor belied.
Mister Rogers was so nice and kind that it's hard to notice how courageous and fearless he was. Early in his career, he was appalled at the tenor of content of children's programming and television content in general. Rather than rail against the culture, he chose to invest his life in creating an alternative.
He had a simple and fundamental theological conviction. He believed that life is precious, that every human being is precious, and that all of us are called to treat others with dignity and respect as beloved children of God. He refused to allow circumstance to pressure him into conforming to the ethos of a media culture that uses people (including children) as commodities manipulated for ratings and commercial advertising influence.
Two events in Mister Rogers later life illustrate his quiet but strong practice of this conviction. I once saw Mister Rogers (or, more accurately, Reverend Rogers) being interviewed about how to calm children who have been upset by overhearing the news as the Iraq War was breaking out. After answering questions from the interviewer, he mentioned that even newspeople can become upset by the scary news they report. He took the opportunity to offer care and comfort to the newsperson (who clearly didn't know how to respond to being treated like an actual human being).
The other remarkable event that showed Mister Rogers ability to turn any situation into a ministry opportunity was his acceptance speech for a lifetime achievement award at the Emmys. He asked the entire crowd to take ten seconds of silence to think about someone who had impacted them for good. He said, "I'll watch the time." He looked at his watch as the crowd experienced what seemed like an interminable silence. Many in the crowd were visibly moved. He challenged them to make television that brought out the best in people and refused to demean people. It was a prophetic moment fitting to his life's work. He turned a community of some of the world's most shallow people into a group of children listening to his gentle wisdom.
Mister Rogers was also authentic. His TV persona was himself. He said that he believed that children could spot a phony right away. He intentionally created a children's program with a slower tempo because of his deep concern for the anxiety children face through all they experience in contemporary society. He referred to the noise of most children's programming as "bombardment." Everything about his show, his life, his approach to interaction with others sprang from a pastoral concern.
How different could our society be if those called to minister the Gospel could take some cues from our childhood friend? We are so much quicker to condemn all that's wrong in our culture than to figure out how to creatively construct attractive alternatives based on our theological convictions. Mister Rogers didn't talk openly about the love of Jesus Christ, because an open proclamation of the name of Jesus would have been inappropriate to his context. But his demonstration of the love he had experienced in Jesus and the application of his giftedness in such a remarkably unique, creative manner should fire our imaginations for other ways we could constructively impact our culture through the application of the love of Jesus Christ.
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