Philippians 4:1-9 contains many exhortations--Paul advising, directing, coaching a young congregation in how they should act. He speaks to the group, and he addresses individuals: He implores Euodia, implores Syntyche. He urges a "true companion" to help the women. He tells the the receivers of the letter to stand firm, to rejoice, to live lives marked by gentleness, to be anxious for nothing, to pray, meditate on the just, true, praiseworthy, etc.
Most people are regularly in a position to speak in the hortatory voice. Parents, children, spouses, pastors, coaches, employers, teachers, community leaders, even pet owners find it necessary to instruct, advise, and even command others. Few of us are good at it. Many of us find that our admonition has a reverse effect--people do exactly the opposite of what we advise. Sometimes we employ "reverse psychology"--advising or commanding the exact opposite of the behavior we seek because we anticipate a counter-reaction to our advice.
How was Paul effective in offering direction to the Philippians? Maybe there's a clue in his address. Paul refers to the people as "my joy and crown," and "beloved." Perhaps Paul earned the right to be heard by the good people of Philippi because they knew that he not only loved them but that he found great joy in them, he treasured them and spoke effusively and openly about his affection for them.
Perhaps many of us are ineffective in guiding the behavior of those whose behavior we must guide because we fail to treasure people enough. People can tell when those who are admonishing them are annoyed or frustrated, if they are contemptuous of them when they fail to tow the line. How many times has a father made his children afraid, a pastor made a congregation feel unspiritual, a spouse made a mate feel stupid, a child made a parent feel disrespected, all because of a well-intentioned attempt to get the other to do something for his or her own good?
When we treat people like projects, we easily become annoyed when they fail to line up to our expectations. And our failure to treasure them hardens them to our agenda for them. This is natural and it is a good defense mechanism. It's foolish to allow someone who doesn't care about you to shape your life.
God has the power to redeem us because he loves us, treasures us, values us, calls us the beloved just as we are. That acceptance frees us to be transformed. That unconditional love allows us to trust him enough to obey him.
How more effective might we be in guiding others if they knew that we treasured them infinitely more than the response we attempt to evoke in them?
No comments:
Post a Comment